When you’re out on the town, the ‘art of seduction’ seems relatively straightforward. Basic grooming, eye contact, and physical (even if imaginary) confidence go a long way when trying to catch the eye of that special someone. You’re at a bar, you see someone you like, and after a few drinks you gather up enough courage to strike up a conversation.
It’s pretty simple really.
When you’re trying to attract someone online, however, the whole equation shifts. You don’t have to dress up or take a shower. You can be online while slouched in front of the television, unshowered, wearing a bathrobe with your laptop balanced on a family-size bowl of Doritos, and you might be just as irresistible in this context—alone, at home, stuffing your face in front of the computer—as you are while dressed to the nines in swanky club. In a lot of ways, online dating presents far less pressure than dating IRL (‘in real life’). You don’t have to buy new clothes, you don’t have to put effort into looking good for someone else, and you don’t have to worry about what anyone is going to think. You can relax and just be yourself.
But even for the experienced, online dating is far from being a walk in the park. Online dating presents its own unique challenges. Like, how are you going to get someone to notice you, when you’re online, without relying on the same tricks that used to get people to notice you in real life? There are many ways to get noticed online, and they’re as easy and simple as lifting your finger off the keyboard and hitting a few keys.
To increase your profile views and get more messages, follow these simple tips:
Turn your flabby, out-of-shape dating profile into a lean, mean, attracting machine.
Trust me, people do notice your profile. Is it properly filled out? Is it specific? Do you have enough relevant information in your descriptions? Are you representing yourself honestly? Did you remember to fill out your interests, including your favorite music and movies? Take a little time and write something about yourself. Even if it’s just a few words about your interests or where you are in your life, it’s gives people a better idea of who you are and what you’re looking for.
Make sweet sweet love to the camera.
You need photos. How are you going to attract anyone with a gray, faceless avatar? Unless they have a serious thing for faceless avatars (and nobody does) there is no way anyone is going to contact you for a date without a photo.
View as many profiles as you can.
Most dating sites allow people to see who’s viewed them. That means even if you don’t directly message someone, they can still get a sense of your interest since they know you’re checking them out. If you’re shy about messaging, or maybe just don’t have the time, viewing a lot of people can help you reach out.
Take advantage of emoticons.
If you’re interested in someone but aren’t at the point where you want to send them a direct message, why not do the easy thing and send an emoticon? Most dating site have their own way of winking or smiling at someone, but you can always type out your own emoticon too. Winking is kind of hard to do smoothly in real life (sometimes, you try to wink and it gets confused for an odd facial tic) but luckily, it’s much easier to accomplish online.
Indirect methods of flirtation are always an option to help you get noticed. But if you’re the more adventurous type, the best way to get someone’s attention online is to write them a message. So go for it!
More than anything, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there! One of the main benefits of online dating is that it makes it easier to be outgoing. Going up to someone in public or a bar can be daunting or feel aggressive. Sending someone a message on an online dating site is just part of how it works. So go out there and make it work for you!
photo credit: okko pyykko