While the phone call is the most preferred method of communication, the text message isn’t trailing far behind. In the past decade, texting has exploded and is quickly becoming the go-to method of communication for most singles.
You can easily increase your odds by avoiding texting pitfalls and adopting better text habits. Consider these texting tips moving forward. Afterall, if you’re easy to talk to over text, chances are she’ll think you’re easy to talk to over dinner.
Keep it light: Use your texts to establish some open-ended rapport. Instead of sending the flat “Hey” or “What’s up”, try echoing some prior conversation that will segue into a date invite.
Text: “We never settled our debate: Godfather or the Godfather sequel?”
Response: “I like them both, but I think the sequel wins.”
Text: “They’re putting on a summer showing in the park–we should go.”
Text: “You might make the best lasagna in the world, but when was the last time you had great gelato?”
Response: “Can’t argue with that.”
Text: “Let me take you to Gio’s. They might give you a run for your money.”
Make plans: The single best use of texting is to make plans. If she gave you her phone number, she wants to meet you. This means the ball is in your court.
After a few text exchanges, attempt to firm up your date plans. If you’re having a discussion or conversation via text, you’re treading into “text buddy” territory. Until you’ve established a romantic connection, keep your text conversations short. Set up your plans and then give the texting a rest.
“I know you love a great pinot. How about we try that new wine bar?”
“You know what would make Monday Night Football even better? Watching with you. Are you free to meet around kickoff?”
Check in after the date: After a great date, follow up the next morning. A brief message will make her feel appreciated and reinforce the positive feelings from the night before. To avoid coming on too strong, do not ask her out the very next night; over eagerness can come off as desperation. Instead, use the check-in message to help you plan for a future outing.
“Had a really great time last night. Would love to see you again soon. How do you feel about arts fest this weekend?”
Send a light-hearted text during the work day: When your dates start feeling more comfortable, send your date a brief message during the day. The importance of this text is not to convey information, but rather to show your date that she’s on your mind.
“I had amazing tacos for lunch at this place near my office. You’d love the guac.” (Also include a picture of your tacos or storefront)
“I hope everything went well with your presentation. I can’t wait to hear about it soon.”
Save real discussions for the phone: Texting is for light-hearted fun and making plans. Don’t fall into the “texting is the only way we communicate” trap. If you’re talking about serious feelings, urgent matters, or sensitive subjects, please use the phone or save it for an in-person discussion.
Overthink it: Connection comes in person, not through a text message. If an opportunity to say something clever arises, go for it. Don’t avoid contact because you don’t think the message is good enough. See when she is available for a date and charm her in person.
Send a “booty call” text: If it’s late at night and you’re feeling lonely, do NOT pick up that phone. It’s poor form to get in touch with someone to satisfy physical urges. It’s also the quickest way to turn her off.
Send or ask for scandalous pictures: If the recent celebrity leaks have taught you anything, it’s that scandalous or nude pictures do not belong on cell phones.
Text if you’ve been drinking: If you find yourself out drinking, put the phone away or turn it off. Drunken texting frequently results in “booty” texts and scandalous picture problems. If you truly like a woman and want to see her again, don’t text her while you’re out drinking.