After Zoosk introduced Minette to Pine, the couple was inseparable. A single date in early September led to a perfect partnership. After selling her house and moving to closer to Pine, Minette couldn’t been happier:
“Everything just fell into place as we proceeded with our relationship. I am so blessed to have this wonderful man in my life. Both our previous marriages were happy, but we lost our partners to cancer. There is so much that we share, because we have the same outlook on life and have shared similar experiences. We both are deep Christians, and I think that this makes our relationship so much stronger. We also both love music and play together a lot, which is also deepening our relationship. In December 2013, we got married; it’s a wonderful marriage and relationship.”
Congratulations to you both; we wish you a lifetime of love and happiness!
Did Zoosk introduce you to the love of your life? We want to hear all about it! Share the details here, and we’ll feature your love story!
When it comes to finding love, some people are more flexible on dating criteria than others; our latest Zoosk study identifies where these open-minded daters live. For our study, open-mindedness specifically describes how willing a person is to date someone different from himself of herself.
After using advanced data technology to analyze nearly 1 million user conversations, our brilliant data nerds captured the following results:
If your city didn’t score highly on open-mindedness overall, you might find it ranked on specific dating criteria. We picked our hottest topics and figured out where the most and least open-minded singles live across the US.
For more information, please direct your inquiries to email@example.com. Like what you see? Find more dating infographics here.
When Tali and Steve were ready for something serious, they turned to Zoosk. “We knew what we were interested in–nothing fake or “just for fun,” writes Tali. Her faith in Zoosk’s Behavioral Matchmaking technology paid off; it led to a perfect introduction:
“We couldn’t stop going back to each others profiles. There was an inexplicable attraction. Steve finally took the plunge and sent me a message. We both expressed our mutual attraction for each other and started chatting. Zoosk messages turned into FB messages, which turned into texts, phone calls and FaceTime. We met for brunch for our first date which lasted all day. It was an amazing day which neither of us will forget!”
Tali and Steve have been together since their first date, and they can’t wait to enjoy more life experiences together in and around Connecticut. We wish them the best in life and in love!
If you’ve met the love of your life on Zoosk, we want to hear all about it! Let us know here, and we’ll feature your love story!
Dear Joan Actually
I definitely blew it. I’ve liked this girl for months, but she sees me as a friend. It’s at the point where she’s telling me about another guy she likes. I did everything I could to be a good dude–I brought her soup when she was sick and helped her get a new job. But, it’s like these things have worked against me. I want to make a move, but I’m not even sure it’s worth is at this point. How can I get out of this friend zone?
Ahh the friend zone—romantic purgatory for the overly accommodating. It’s where you’ll end up when your romantic interest likes you, but not in a romantic way. Getting friend zoned is frustrating and painful. Despite your best attempts to show your “friend” how well you could fit the role of significant other, your “friend” just doesn’t see it. It’s torture. It’s also the closest you’ll come to feeling like a neutered animal.
There’s no better expert on avoiding the friend zone than Psychology Today’s Dr. Jeremy Nicholson. With over 10 years of experience studying dating, relationships, and persuasion, he understands what you’re going through. I took some notes from his playbook to help you ditch the dreaded friend zone in 5 Easy Steps:
1) Be Prepared to Walk – Your friend zone problem stems from an imbalance; you value someone more than he or she values you. You can’t force someone to value your company, but you can choose to find someone that values you more. “If you’re not getting what you want it’s time to walk,” says Dr. Nicholson. Afterall, he adds, “being ‘needy’ is no way to negotiate.”
2) Fill Your Calendar – We’ve all heard “distance makes the heart grow fonder,” right? Well, put that saying to the test. Create some space between you and your “friend”. Give this person the opportunity to miss you. “If they truly appreciate you,” adds Dr. Nicholson, “then your absence will make them miss you and want you more.” If, however, your absence has gone unnoticed, it’s time to move on.
3) Entertain Other Options – Remember, you’re not taken. So, go ahead and meet some new talent. Then, casually bring up the new romantic possibilities to your “friend.” Why would this work? “Because people value the things they might lose,” says Dr. Nicholson. “If you are “busy” with other people, you might just find your friend a bit more eager and motivated for your time and attention.”
4) Ask for Favors – Dr. Nicholson has surprising news: “Contrary to popular belief, people like you more when THEY do favors for you, rather than when you do the favor for them.” Apparently, the more “your friend” invests in you, the more valued you will become. Your days as an errand boy have ended; it’s time for you to relax.
5) Appreciate Good Behavior – When your “friend” behaves the way you like—affectionately or romantically, for example—show your appreciation and reciprocate. In other words, reward the response you want. “Being attentive and affectionate, only when your friend does what you like, encourages your friend to continue those behaviors,” says Dr. Nicholson. “Also, ignoring him or her if he or she behaves badly helps to reduce unwanted behaviors.”
Fabulous Cartoon: Stephen Wright
1. Do you feel secure?
When you are with the right person, it’s hard to imagine him or her being with anyone else. You don’t worry when your partner is out late or bumps into an ex, because you know–with certainty–that you are together.
2. Do you share similar values?
Having a partner who wants the same things out of life is an important factor for long-term success. For example, if you’re interested in world travel whereas your partner is more interested in starting a family, you will inevitably encounter some big problems. However, if you both value similar things—lifestyle, family, career—your relationship is more likely to endure.
3. Do you put each other first?
If your partner’s opinions and feelings are a big part of your decision making by default, you’re already living as an “us” instead of living as a “part” of a relationship. When you both derive satisfaction from making each other happy, you’re well on your way to building a fantastic future together.
4. If you fight, do you seek real solutions and make up quickly?
If fighting is less about being right and more about solving problems and improving the relationship, you’re on the right track.
5. Do you feel comfortable doing mundane things together?
In life, there’s a lot of downtime between the fun stuff. Are you with someone who enjoys being with you at the grocery store, at your grandparent’s house, at the DMV? If so, you can relax. You’re with a long-term prospect.
Posted by Joan Actually
Posted by Joan Actually
Bowler Jonathan Ferrell will be competing for the Laughlin Cup this summer with his lovely wife, Laura, by his side. “She has changed everything for me and it feels great,” said Jonathan.
Zoosk’s Behavioral Matchmaking technology introduced this couple in the nick of time. “I was just about to give up,” said Jonathan, “it had been three months and nothing was really clicking.” Once he spotted Laura, he waited patiently for days until she replied. Once she responded, Jonathan scheduled his last first date.
“On our first date, I remember she reached out to hug me. The chemistry was instant. We had a great dinner and the conversation was very easy. 10 days later, I went to my best friend and said ‘That’s the one I’m going to marry. I don’t know when—but that’s the one.’”
Just a month later, Jonathan and Laura got married in Vegas. “My friends told me I was crazy,” Jonathan said, “but I’m okay with that. She’s amazing.”
Laura, like her husband, shared the same strong feelings immediately: ”I knew we were going to be together. I was very excited to marry him! He always does things to make me smile even though he’s working so hard.”
Laura and Jonathan are looking forward to a happy future filled with romance and bowling success. We wish this lovely couple from Glendale, Arizona all the best!
If you’ve met the love of your life on Zoosk, we want to hear all about it. Simply share your details here, and let your love story inspire others!
Dear Joan Actually
I’ve got the biggest thing for my friend’s ex. She’s cute and awesome, and I always thought we would be good together. I really want to give it a shot without causing drama. Is there an easy way to do this, you know, without screwing my friend over?
-Fort Wayne, IN
TIP #1 Be Honest.
Ways to start the conversation:
TIP #2 Consider Timing.
“Some people get over a relationship quickly; others grieve for a lifetime,” says Psychology Today’s Jeremy Nicholson. ”But if the friend initiated the break-up or if your friend has moved on to a more satisfying relationship, then it’s probably okay to date the ex.” Stephany Alexander determines the right time differently: “You can use the amount of time they went out to determine how long you should wait. If they dated for only a few months, you could consider mentioning your interest in the ex after 3-6 months.” Regardless of when you decide to bring it up, it’s important that you have this talk.
TIP #3 Censor Yourself.
We asked our Zooskers: What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve heard on a date?
Here are the top 5 best responses:
Mal R: ”You remind me so much of my recently deceased mother. She really would have liked you.”
Lynn B: ”You have a boogie on your top lip.”
Michael B: ”Teach me how to kiss.”
Alex S: ”What do you think of my chest?”
Barbara F: ”Do you serve freeze dried animals?”
We also asked friends to complete the following sentence: I knew my first date wouldn’t turn into a second
date when _________.
Joe D: She once got fleas from a stray cat.
Ashley C: He told me the number of calories in the dessert I ordered, with raised eyebrows.
Trish W: He had a mattress in the back of his van!
Langdon M: She sometimes communicates with fish, which was one of the reasons she’d converted to veganism. She also suggested naked yoga for our second date… maybe I should have overlooked the fish thing.
Sarah M: He crashed his car into a parked car and then left without leaving a note- hit and run!
Natasha M: He was married, but they had an open relationship.
Nick R: She was curious how meaty my kidneys are.
Anne A: He really, really wanted to see my belly button.
Martha D: It wasn’t what he said, it was that pinky ring…
Matt S: She said therapy is a bunch of psycho-babble. (P.S. I’m a therapist)
READERS: We’re looking for your best, worst and most embarrassing DATE stories. If your story gets picked, we’ll feature it on the Zoosk blog. E-mail your submissions to JoanActually [at] zoosk [dot] com.
For Brad and Julie from Santa Barbara, it was instant chemistry.
After learning Brad’s preferences, Zoosk’s Behavioral Matchmaking™ technology introduced him to Julie. “When I first saw Julie’s photo on Zoosk, I stopped immediately and read her profile,” says Brad. “When I first saw her in person, I felt my life change.”
Watch Brad and Julie describe how Zoosk brought them together—and why they couldn’t be happier. If you’re looking for that spark of love, join Zoosk today.
Posted by Joan Actually
Things were looking bleak for Amanda in Binghamton, NY. “I was sick of wasting my time,” she said. “I went on a few dates, and it didn’t turn into anything. I started giving up hope.” Just when she was ready to give up, something about Ron’s profile captured her heart: “To be honest when I started looking, Ron was far from a guy I would normally go for. I usually go for the “bad boy” look, but Ron was far from that. Something told me to give it a try. And, boy, am I glad I did!”
Three years after the first message, Amanda and Ron are married.
“Ron is always the first person I know to jump and help someone else, even if he already has a million of his own things going on. He thinks about everyone before himself–especially me. He will do whatever it takes to make me smile. He’s very dedicated to whatever he has going on, that includes our relationship which is why our trust is so strong. The saying ‘you’ll marry someone like your father’ is so true. My dad and Ron are two peas in a pod, which is awesome to me because family is a HUGE part of my life. I’m so lucky.”
Ron couldn’t be more perfect for Amanda; we’re so happy for your both!
Have you found true love on Zoosk? We’d love to hear the details! Share your story here.